TEMPLE OF KAHUNA, Jerusalem -- It has come to the attention of Kahuna that an aging False Prophet of considerable girth has enthroned himself as the "Real Kahuna" within the utter depths of the Bogusan Empire. Kahuna notes that He and He alone holds the primary key "Kahuna" and any attempts to subvert this state of affairs is constrained by His Holy First Normal Form. The obvious key collision has led to the False Prophet prefixing a "Real" to his primary key in a singularly inept attempt to add a row to sys.dba_users. Sources indicated that the False Prophet has already been indicted for dress code and weight violations by the Subhuman Resources division of the Bogusan Empire. A spokesmonkey for the Empire added that charges relating to suspicious goings on in parked motor vehicles have, however, not been substantiated at this time.