Unquotable Quotes - Part 12

My bee's better than your fly!

- The Monster to Darth Teddy, parading his insect.

Stop looking at my fly!

- Darth Teddy to the Monster, declaring a surveillance blackout on his fly.

I will ship a Venus Flytrap to your premises if you're not careful.

- Kahuna to the Monster, threatening to resurrect His one-time carnivorous plant business.

That idiot has published an elephant saying it’s an ode to me.

- Gordon, fuming at Darth Teddy’s elephantine photographic tribute.

I am scared to check my Gmail.

- St Vandoofus, voicing serious reservations after Kahuna activated the comment distribution feature.

Official mails are now like the proverbial needle in the haystack.

- Gordon to Kahuna, declaring a mailbox flooded status thanks to Kahuna’s comment distribution feature.

You have implemented non-standard technologies. This is in violation of MIS Policy #3215.63B. You shall rot in hell.

- Bartus Maximus to Kahuna, upon being brought back to life by the incessant comment distribution feature.

My Xbox will arrive tomorrow, you will have peace, my presence thereafter will be [minimal], [and] you will reign King!

- The Monster to Kahuna, implicating Elvis is his quest to be One with the Xbox.

I thought fly-fishing was what you did while in an aeroplane.

- Darth Teddy, on the art of using a hook, line and rod at high altitude.

I have done nothing in mid-air.

- Darth Teddy, pleading innocent to aerial acrobatics at 37,000 feet.

Well, the purser was roaming the cabin.

- Darth Teddy, on being thwarted in an attempt to join the Mile High Club^[1].

That’s gotta hurt.

- Darth Teddy, on being asked if he has watched A River Runs Through It.

[Kahuna] is compiling UQ12 isn't he?

- Darth Teddy, suspecting an ulterior motive behind a conference session facilitated by Kahuna.

We have been lured into a trap!

- The Monster, accusing Kahuna of premeditated entrapment to create UQ12.

Which Kahuna’s hand is that?

- St Vandoofus, committing blasphemy by proposing the existence of more than one Kahuna.

You have multiple avenues to bad-mouth me now.

- Gordon to Kahuna, on being told that the Circus is being podcasted and accessible from iTunes.

I am considering relinquishing the "Real Kahuna" title in order to avoid confusion. I will continue as Darth Gordon, Keeper of the Faith.

- Gordon, realizing that his days as Kahuna-wannabe are numbered.

You will not use the editor. Its compose mode will nest your tags to high heaven.

- Kahuna, warning Gordon about the Blogger Editor after noticing extra-strong markup in the latter’s post.

Oh, they flew it in from Dublin did they?

- Kahuna to Gordon, on being told that the Irish coffee at a previously blacklisted hotel was NB.

I think we should walk in with a lightsaber sometime and thump [the Executive Chef].

- Gordon, proposing to make a complaint, Sith-style.

Who is this Regulator person?

- Darth Teddy to Kahuna, seeking to unveil the Regulator.

You’re causing editing halfway across the planet.

- Kahuna to Darth Teddy, accusing the latter of markup requiring subsequent cleanup.

You will search on Yahoo for "volumetric ornithology". You appear to be a pioneer in your field.

- Kahuna congratulating Gordon on the latter’s groundbreaking work being recognized by Yahoo.

The State of New York is about to slap you with a lawsuit for wanton waste of water.

- Kahuna to Gordon, on 1.4 million litres of water unaccounted for during a photo shoot.

It must be your mass. According to special relativity it must be causing space around you to bend out of shape. Hence, radio waves find it hard to leave your locality.

- Kahuna, explaining poor GPRS reception in Gordon’s immediate vicinity.

Which is about 0.000000000000000000000000111 meters.

- Kahuna, calculating Gordon’s Schwarzschild radius in a bid to prove the existence of a black hole.

You’re expending 1.25 kilo Joules per minute while you wait.

- Kahuna to Gordon, calculating the energy used by the latter as he waits for his web page to load.

Teamwork is defined where the PM does nothing.

- The Monster’s Principle of Highly Defective Teamwork.

In that case the PM is wasting oxygen and should be put to death.

- Kahuna’s Corollary to The Monster’s Principle of Highly Defective Teamwork.

I am trying to be diplomatic, except for the occasional nudge that I can't resist.

- St Vandoofus, outlining his foreign policy towards Darth Teddy.

You’re nudging in troubled waters.

- Kahuna, commenting on St Vandoofus’s foreign policy.

This will cause problems for voice recognition systems too methinks.

- Gordon, expressing grave reservations regarding the village formerly known as Llanfynydd^[2] in Wales.

So you didn't like my sneaky advertising?

- St Vandoofus to Kahuna, after the latter toned down blatant propaganda on the Circus.

^[1] Make sure you visit the links at the bottom of the Wikipedia page.
^[2] Now, Llanhyfryddawelllehynafolybarcudprindanfygythiadtrienusyrhafnauole.